Zimny Lech - to dobry Lech

It literally means "Cold Lech is the good Lech", but it couldn't be funny by itself if we don't think of it with a bit of black humor, which seems to be popular also here in Poland (for which I'm very glad). 

Disclaimer: black humor is like legs, some people have it, some people don't. Stop reading if you lack it. I mean, black humor.

So there I was, drinking a Lech beer when a friend told me the story about Zimny Lech.

¿Sabías que se ha muerto Mao? - ¡Joder, con lo que me gustaba esa cerveza!

It was a long time ago, April 10th 2010, two years before the end of the world, when the Ex-President of Poland, Lech Kaczyński, had a plane crash.

The story, or what I remember because I was quite drunk back then, began during the funeral. The advertising was in the street saying basically: "Cold Lech is the good Lech", where "cold" can be interpreted also as "dead". So there were lulz and anti-lulz and everything ended in the obvious way: advertisements retired.

Funny thing is that there was a new advertisement of Zimny Lech, where curiously a guy picks a Lech beer and starts flying away. And some people join him somehow and in the end...
PLOT TWIST ALERT!
...in the end they crash on a roof top. But with a happy ending.

Warsaw - Nice Ville

I just remembered this picture I took in Warszawa Centralna and I keep wondering: where is Nice Ville? is it that nice? any recomendations?

Nice Ville is niiiiiiice

Meanwhile in Tesco

Children left unattended will disappear

Lithuanian experience

Most people I know that have travelled to Lithuania always bring a good feedback, but I'm afraid this is not my case. Maybe I just had bad luck and I met only mean people... the thing is that this is my experience.

The first contact with Lithuanian people happened in a shop, during the first evening in Vilnius. The owners, a man and a woman in their late 40's or something, didn't even say hello, but that wouldn't matter so much if when I wanted to pay they didn't ignore me. But not only they ignored me, they even crossed their arms while looking at me with this look in their faces that meant something like: please, go away!

I thought: okay, maybe it was very late and they needed to close, because it was dark and I forgot to change the time (+1 hour). I felt sorry about it and went away.
But the same thing happened in a book store, when I went there to ask for a Lithuanian-Spanish dictionary. The reaction?
- Lithuanian-Spanish dictionary? I don't know if we have. Maybe?-
-Could you please check...?
-I can.
Seconds after, when she decided it was enough time looking at the horizont, she decided to move around in the shop and found one small and expensive dictionary.
Since I didn't have money enough, I told her I'd be back the morning after.
She went away.

I decided to try in another super market. This time: some hot meal, cos it was like -25ºC out there.
So I ask the woman at the other side of this bar: could you please give me one of this and one of that?. Her answer, after looking at me like holding her vomit was a bark. Human style.
I didn't know very well how to interprete it, so I asked, politely, if she could warm it in the microwaves a bit.
She barked some more, put it there and gave it to me.
I said thanks, but I wondered if maybe barking back would have been the polite way to respond.
By the way, there are weird stuff in those shops, dude! look at this!

WTF IS THIS!? is that a pig or what?

Pork in own juice. Well, if Americans consider pizza a vegetable, maybe this people think pork is a fruit. Whatever floats their boats!

Next step: trying some typical Lithuanian dishes.
I went to a restaurant in the Old Town, the typical place, you know. There was this so-typical restaurant with typical stuff... so typical that it had to be typical.
So I went inside and waited for the waitress. After five minutes she noticed I was there, but she went away. She came back, only to look at me again and leave one more time.
Since it was extremely cold and I was starving, I decided to go, break the ice and talk to her. She said I could sit wherever I wanted, so I did it. And since nobody came to bring me the menu, I stood up and took it by myself.
A new waitress, who was faster, nicer and more normal appeared and for a moment I thought everything would be okay again. Dude, was I wrong!
The typical dishes weren't precisely good. The soup was okay for someone who's starving and freezing, but those things called Zeppelin, made with some potato dough, oh God, no. It was like chewing a tasteless jellyfish. I almost threw up...

Time to pay.
-Can I pay with credit card?
-[Bark] yes, you can (feel like Obama).

After this great experience you expect to just go, lay down in bed, watch a movie, relax...
But then you see Lithuanian TV has lector, just like in Poland. But this one goes one step further.
Okay, I think lector sucks, I think it's the worst invention ever. In fact, I always do that to ennoy my parents while they watch TV, and it works! they end up hating me! so who thought this would be a good idea anyway????

In Lithuania, lectors don't only read every single dialogue/monologue or whateverlogue. They also translate and read the lyrics of the songs. If you don't believe me, look at this!

This song is grFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU

But not everything is bad. The Old Town in Vilinius is a really, very beautiful place. I swear!